In the last 3 months, music has played such a key role in helping me process emotions, helping me think straight and sometimes providing the necessary ambiance I need to cry, be sad, process bad emotions and move on.
At this point, if you want to experience my last 3 weeks from the lens of music you can play this song and hopefully, you resonate with the music and my reflection (the lyrics aren’t touching, it’s more their voice, cadence, and the feel of it FYI).
Some quick life updates, I resigned from the job I was so earnestly searching for 2 years ago. I am funemployed and for the first time in 3 years, I feel like I can say I am somewhat happy and not thinking about the future. I have a small project I am working on at the moment and it’s really exciting.
For the first time in 3 years, I have gone to bed without setting an alarm in anticipation of work the next day. I have become a plant dad and I have 3 babies (moremi, kemi and baby 3) - kindly send suggestions for plant names if you have some cool names. You can find pictures of my babies here…
In the last month, I have sent my friends into panic mode over a poorly worded message, and spent hours and hours with friends. I have taken long walks, I have celebrated birthdays, I have sung my heart out, drank like a happy boy, and hugged my friends a bit tighter. I have told my friends I love them more, I have stayed in silence and just smiled at them. I have experienced small pockets of happiness without feeling guilty or worrying about tomorrow or the next hour. I have embodied my philosophy of pause there’s time and it has been a very rewarding experience.
As I reflect on my life pre-funemployment and post-resignation, I am realising the biggest thing I couldn’t afford was time and choice.
In my old life, I had a semi-strict policy of going out once throughout the entire weekend because I cannot afford to be tired, hungover, or drained. I needed to be ready to work and hit the ground running. I had centered work and a “career” in my life and I do not think I enjoy work or it makes me happy. Now instead of choosing between going to a concert, movie night, sleep in, and go out with friends - I can do all of them. All of this comes with fatigue at the end of the shenanigans but this time I am sleeping in and reflecting on the experiences and memories we just created. I am waking up and not worrying about work I have to do but basking in the happiness and the satisfaction that comes with knowing my heart is happy and I have actively surrounded myself with people and things that make me happy.
I am slowly realising I never want to do a whole opportunity cost analysis to decide on activities that make me happy. I have just gotten back from a staycation trip with a friend and the last 3 days have been nothing short of amazing. A song that we had on a loop was Stormzy’s Hide and Seek (my darling friend was convinced Tems was on this song) As full-grown adults, a number of key takeaways:
Our aging bodies cannot physically manage concerts at all - talk less of 2 concerts back to back. We got back and slept like babies. I probably got 12 hours plus of sleep on Thursday and it was beautiful with a dash of sleep paralysis
Friends and loved ones are really what get you through life. Something about being in the same space with one of my favorite people in the world and just existing made my heart warm and in those moments nothing else mattered - I was happy
As adults, the gift of sleep and not having hangovers is something I would never have thought would be a massive cause for celebration
There are so many beautiful people in the world and you really just need to step out and experience it. Shoutout to the beautiful people I met
It is important to find pockets of happiness even when everything is bleak.
Throughout my staycation, I had occasional anxiety attacks but I am extremely proud of myself for calming myself down and reminding myself that I deserve a break. In the last 4 weeks, my anthem has changed from It’s okay to cry to It’s okay to take a break.
Here is my really long playlist that helps when I am anxious.
In one of my old newsletters, I had said:
“On the days we wake up with endless excitement, experience bare happiness, and unfathomable joy, I hope we can store enough of it for sad and anxious days, for days we feel less adequate”
Now, I would tweak things a little bit and say
On the days we wake up sad and anxious, I hope we can vulnerably fall back into the community of love we have built around us. I hope they remind us we are constantly surrounded by love; I hope they remind us of the happiness we can experience and the peace of mind that comes with knowing we never have to go through life alone.
Recently bumped into an amazing poet and I cannot wait for them to share their work with the world. One of the best things they said was to reaffirm that
i may show up tired
i may show up scared
but i’ll never show up alone
“Currently, I am very happy for time and friends and ultimately knowing that regardless of how hard and difficult it gets, I would never have to show up alone. The reassurance that comes with knowing I never have to do life alone has made the last couple of weeks easier”
Here are some really cool things I have been reading and watching
The Recruit
The White Lotus
Stumbled on your newsletter on IG and, I'm in love already. I think I'll adopt this mindset going forward.
baby 3 name suggestion "partner in crime" or P.I.C for short.